Dinosaurs will die
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Thank God It's Monday
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I’m gonna tell you what I really think I like about Monday
Cause they fell like Saturdays
When you don’t have to go to work, every day is a holiday
I wake up when I want to, I do anything I wanna do
Can’t wait for Tuesday
I really don’t like Fridays I can’t do what I wanna do
Sold out at the movies, can’t eat at the restaurant
Everybody wants to party, but the bar’s full of cigarette smokeI think I’ll stay home, I think I’ll wait for Monday
I live a five day weekend, I gotta year long holiday
Thanks god it’s Monday
The only place I gotta be is the show or on the first tee
Thank god it’s Monday
Never mind aggravation, just give me modulation gimmie another key
I’ll tell you why I like Tuesdays, cause they’re kinda like Christmas
Come to think about Wednesdays, are a little like Hanakah
Thursdays thanksgiving, I’m talking about good living
I think I’ll give thanks
Thank god it’s Monday
Thank god it’s Monday
Thank god it’s Monday
Thank god it’s Monday
Thank god it’s Monday
Thank god it’s Monday
Thank god it’s Monday
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Clams Have Feelings To (Actually They Don't)
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Birds are dumb with small bird brains
But so are kids and old people
Some birds talk, most others sing
I don’t see you eating a talking bird
Pigs smell bad and roll in pooh
But so do kids and elderly
I don’t see you chop of an old man’s feet
Put them in a mason jar and pickle them
No chowder for you, because clams have feelings too
Actually they don’t have central nervousness
No manhatten style, clams have the right to smile
Come to think about it they don’t have a face
They have no face, no place for ears
There’s no clam eyes to cry clam tears
No spinal cord, they must get bored
Might as well just put them out of misery
I don't believe it's selfish
To eat defenceless shellfish
No chowder for you, cause clams have feelings too
I could happen to you, clams have feelings too
I don’t think they do, clams have feelings too
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Louise
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She gotta walk with a silicone cock sticking in her ass and one in her cunt
A butterfly vibrator strapped tight her clit
But who’s got the remote control
That would belong to Louise
She’s got a new pet a real vaginal tease
You know that mummy’s little girl is not gonna do as she please
I she don’t want to get a spankin
She likes to speak like a six year old brat
Mummy discipline me cause you know I’ve been bad
Start with a cat then she’ll move to a crop
Neither one is willing to stop
She know that girls just wanna have fun
With four piercings on each side of her labia
A little luggage lock connecting each one
Prevents her girl from goin astray
Slut you think you’ve seen your master mean
You better lick my puss and asshole clean
Treat my clit like bubblegum
Bitch make me come
It’s time for bed she’ll be securing her head
Between her thighs for a thorough night suck
Along with this she’ll be drinking her piss
So Louise don’t have to get up
Two goddesses in love
One resides below one reigns from above
One adorns cuffs while one covets keys
The purgatorial touch of Louise
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Stranger Than Fishin
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Got a no string guitar, got a sun beta head
I’m a rock N roll star
I ain’t no musician some things are stranger than fishin
Got a beat on a drum no how to sing outta key
Got some illegal drugs
I ain’t no musician some things are stranger than fishin
I know what I I’m weight out another gram
Some of us have all the luck
No matter how much we fucking suck
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Pharmacists Daughter
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Give her a call for demorol and amal nitrate
I tell her Dad don’t worry sir we won’t stay out late
I’m in love with her, the pharmacist’s daughter
She’s got my love, I get her drugs
Waking up in the afternoon can’t wait to see her
Bringing in some colonopin, I’m huffing ether
She’s the one for me, without personality, I still want to see her every day
We got a date and I can’t wait to see my baby
If I wine and dine her she just might sedate me
She’s so beautiful she keeps my prescriptions full
She’s got my love I get her drugs
She’s got my love I get her drugs
She’s got my love
I get her drugs
Looks like I’ve gone and bought the farmacy
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Bottles To The Ground
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You know it when it’s over
Door are closing feel the sober staring at you
You know you better take one last good look
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
Smashing of the glass what a super sonic sound
You gotta pull the plug when it’s time to die
Whoa whoa whoa, bottles to the ground
There’s a suitcase on the side walk
There’s some records in a milkcrate
She’ll be staying
You’ll be throwing whiskey over one lip
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
Smashing of the glass a perfect imperfect sound
You gotta pay the piper when the rats are gone
Whoa whoa whoa, bottles to the ground
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
One more round then it’s bottles to the ground
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Total Bummer
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Go away sunny day
Go away sunny day
All the horny people sitting in front of their TV and thinking
What is wrong with me I’m not a monster
Why won’t anybody fuck me
I don’t wanna live life lonely
Why does everyone have to be perfect
Go away sunny day
Go away sunny day
All the barflys sipping whiskey
Fighting ever present pity
Wondering what they are sucking back for
Is it the drink or trepidation,
Watching all trains leave the station
Left standing alone without a ticket
You light up my life
You give me hope to carry on
You light up my days
And you light up my life
Go away sunny day
Go away sunny day
Stop searching cause there’s no answer
Just a long line of disaster
There’s no simple way to stop the sadness
Life’s not fair I’m glad it’s not
This isn’t heaven just a lonely planet
On the verge of self destruction
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My Vagina
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My vagina has two sets of lips, but I don’t got monthly blood drips
My vagina hardly even used
My vagina got lot’s of extra skin, they took my outtie and made it an in
Turning donnie into Marie Osmand
Operation successful, but now I gotta pee threw a miniature hole
Got to remember to put the seat down and when I wipe my ass
I go from front to back
Because I don’t want to get a bladder infection
I never thought I’d miss my vas deferance
I trade it in for a pair of huge cans
Now I get to hang with lesbians
Operation paid up front
Now I show all my friend my new designer cunt
They think I’m kinda weird but that’s ok with me
Because now I kick their ass playing from the ladies tee
There’s nothing finer than having a vagina
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Herojuana
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Light the match burn the flour
Leave behind all the wrong
Why be sad when
Happiness can be bought for a little more then free
Modern day prohibition
Are we men, are we children
At what age can I choose how to live
The only real drug problem is scoring real good drugs
Haven’t we learned our lesson
The corner store sells the finest scotch
But who’s got uncut powder
We just want what is ours dignity
If god created plants and buds that I find and abuse
Then who the fuck are you to judge me?
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Theme
From A NOFX Album
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We’re professional punkers we come from the suburbs
After 15 years we’re still having fun
Now we’re over 30 not looking so pretty
At least we got a beat up accordian
That’s Erik our drummer his fathers a plumber
He drank enough booze to get rhode island drunk
Now sober but smelly he’s got one big belly
From living the good life provided by punk
Singin Singin Singin
Buy me a becks beer or pass me a bong
Gimmie some bushmills I’ll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine we’re over 30 we’re doin just fine
El Hefe is not satanic he’s one hip hispanic
He grew up with one dozen cousins and kin
He wears baggy pants he know how to break dance
You’ve seen him do every impersonation
That Melvin on six string some tell me I can’t sing
Oh I think you can just don’t do it round me
Stick with what you know
Playing guitar solo with hetson and watt in punk rock karaoke
Singin Singin Singin
Buy me a becks beer or pass me a bong
Gimmie some bushmills I’ll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine we’re over 30 we’re doin just fine
My name is Fat Mike I’m obsessed with big lesbians
I’ve been a punk rocker for most of my life
I sing kinda flat I’m not really that fat
But that’s how I hit them with a hook or a slice
I’m Kent I do sound look his getting so round
I’m Timmy the Turtle he counts as he clicks
I’m Jay I don’t care someone please cut his hair
I’m Limo from Scotland so give me haggis
Singin Singin Singin
Buy me a becks beer or pass me a bong
Gimmie some bushmills I’ll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine we’re over 30 we’re doin just fine
Buy me a becks beer or pass me a bong
Gimmie some bushmills I’ll sing you this song
We a quaalide or chop we a line we’re pushin 40 we’re doin just fine
Give me a casual, pass me a bong,
Give me Glenlivet I’ll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine
If you take the low road then I'll take the high
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